


Stickynotes and Sign Language

by imnotreallyahipster



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: AU, Deaf AU, Deaf!Carmilla, F/F, Multi, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-26
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-03 15:49:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2856422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotreallyahipster/pseuds/imnotreallyahipster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not good at titles, or summaries.<br/>Deaf!Carmilla AU, Laura's POV.</p><p>How Laura meets Carmilla and the struggles they face.<br/>Previously called "Stickynotes and Books" but it didn't flow as well as I wanted it to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Meeting

I was walking back to my dorm after my Lit class when I first see her.

A dark haired beauty, sitting on a bench near the Lustig Building, clad in leather pants and some obscure band shirt, reading a leather-bound book with large headphones over her ears. This may sound cheesy and cliché, but the light hit her in such a way that I stumbled when I first saw her.

I thought of walking up to her and maybe "accidentally" dropping my books to try and talk to her, but she looked busy and glared at anyone that even came close to her. I hurried back to my dorm and tried not to think of her brown eyes and perfect nose and... 

My face slams against my desk, I'm never going to finish this paper....


	2. Second Meeting

The second time I saw her was in my Philosophy class at the beginning of the second semester. There's a frizzy red-haired interpreter standing at the front of the class and talking quietly to the professor, using sign language as she talks, as if it's a habit.

  
She walks in and walks past me to sit in a seat somewhere behind me, I resist the urge to turn around and look for her and talk to her as the professor introduces himself and the red-haired interpreter, Lola Something-Or-Other, I wasn't paying attention until he starts telling us what we're going to be doing this year. My mind wonders to the darkhaired beauty and I resist writing her a note like a middle schooler.

  
She leaves the room before I can pack my books up and talk to her.


	3. Third Meeting

The third time I see her is at a coffee shop my friend LaFontaine works at. I ordered my cocoa and sat at the table closest to her as she sips at a steaming mug with a book in her other hand.

I'm about to stand up and approach her when a large guy with a Zeta Omega Mu shirt plops in front of her. This is it. This must be her boyfriend and I'll never have a chance with her. I place my face against my folded arms on the table when I hear the Zeta greet the girl, very loudly might I add. 

"Kitty! What's up?!" The guy is smirking and 'Kitty' glares at him and stays silent... Maybe he isn't her boyfriend if she's giving him the death glare. The guy just continues to talk without letting her reply and I look at my watch, I have class in ten minutes and don't have time to ease drop. I finish my cocoa and glance at 'Kitty' who is hanging onto the Zeta's words and nodding every once in awhile. I rush past the pair and go to my Journalism Class.


	4. Fourth Meeting and Sticky Notes

The Fourth time I see her is the next day, right after my Lit Class, she's on that bench again, this time wearing a beanie, sinfully tight skinny jeans, and a red plaid button down shirt. She has the book in front of her and the large headphones over her ears. 

  
She doesn't look at me when I sit beside her on the bench, and I pull out my own book and headphones. I read and listen to music, occasionally glancing at her. About an hour of silently reading together, 'Kitty' checks her watch and gathers her bag and leaves. 

  
Somehow, it became a routine. We read silently beside each other on that bench for two weeks, I wonder what she's listening to, and we read until Kitty or I have a class. I'm not sure if she even realizes that I sit by her everyday or if she finds it creepy, but she hasn't said anything and she didn't stop coming every day. Sometimes, I swear she smiles at me behind that curtain of hair when I sit down, but I may just be imagining things, I mean, she doesn't even look at me.

On the beginning of the third week of silent reading, a stack of sticky notes are placed close to my hand that is resting on the bench. I pick them up and in loopy script, it simply says "I'm Carmilla." I look over at 'Kitty' in confusion, she's still looking at her book and bobbing her head slightly to her music. But this time when I look at her, she's smiling slightly and a pen is tucked behind her ear. 

Today she doesn't have her big headphones on, but she still has ear buds in her ears and she ignores me when I  ask her if that was her. 

I pick at the corner of my book and realize she probably wants me to write back and I dig through my bag for a pen. I tear off the used sticky note and stick it on the page I'm reading and write my name on a fresh note and placing the stack near Kitty.... er, Carmilla? I turn my head back towards my books and look at her through the corner of my eye. She picks the stack up slowly and bites her lip softly. And OH MY GOD. She tears it off and copies my earlier action. She writes back. It's placed beside me again.

'I know. Philosophy.' 

My eyes widen, so she did notice me in class and probably that I sit beside her every day. She knew who I was, and noticed me enough to remember my name from when I was called on in class. I fiddle with the note pad before writing a reply.

'What are you listening to?' She reads it and lets out a quick breath through her nose, it almost sounded like she was amused. The next sticky note is stuck on my book as she walks away.

'I've got to keep my air of mystery, cutie.' 

"Cutie?" I whisper and feel my face heat up and slap my book against my face. "Worst. Crush. Ever."


	5. Revelations

Afer that day, things between Carmilla and I stayed pretty much the same, except now we exchanged sticky notes with questions for each other and answers. I keep all of them hidden in a shoe box under my bed. It kinda became our thing but I long to have a proper conversation. However, she always ignores me or points to her headphones with a small smile and a quick shake of her head. She never waits for me after Philosophy, always disappearing before I can talk to her. 

Eventually, I didn't want to ruin our game on the bench, so I kept my eye out for Carmilla in other places, like the coffee shop LaF works at, but I never see her anywhere. Two weeks of communicating with Carmilla and I've yet to even hear her voice.   
When I reach our normal spot, I notice Carmilla isn't there waiting like she normally is. My frustration melts away to worry, she doesn't have classes today, so where is she?

As I sit and read, I fiddle nervously with the stack of stickynotes I bought to talk to Carmilla. An hour passes and I get up with a sigh.  
As I disappointedly return to my dorm, I see Carmilla... and the Dean? I walk closer and notice that they seem to be arguing, I hide behind a tree and watch the two. I can't hear what the Dean is saying, but I suddenly hear an unfamiliar voice loudly say 'No' and Carmilla turns on her heel and walks away, directly in my direction. I hide further until she walks past me, then I call out her name. 

She ignores me.

\----

The next day she's late by ten minutes, but she at least showed up. I shove a sticky note at her as soon as she sits down. She looks surprised, but reads it anyway.

'Why did you ignore me yesterday?' She sighs and brings out her notepad.

'I didn't ignore you. I wasn't even here.'

'Yes you did, I called your name and you didn't even turn around.' 

'I didn't even hear you.' She was smiling slightly as she writes this and I roll my eyes.

'Unlikely.' Carmilla looks down after reading it and sighs sadly. 'Are you okay?' I place the sticky note in front of her face. She looks up and shakes her head just slightly, then nods quickly. I scoot closer to her, noticing her headphones weren't in her ears, but rather around her neck.

"Hey, are you really okay?" She ignores me and begins to write something down, before handing it to me.

'Do you want to hear what I'm listening to?' I give her a confused look at this but she just closes her eyes tightly, her jaw twitching slightly as she clenches her teeth. 

'Yes.' I place the sticky note on her forehead and her eyes fly open. She snatches the piece of paper from her face, she reads it, then hands me her headphones and motions for me to put them in. I hear nothing, so I wait for a minute as she just stares at me. 

"I don't hear anything, Carmilla." I question out loud and she's staring at my lips as I talk. She writes quickly and the sticky note is smoothed slowly across the forgotten book on my lap.

'I know.'

I stare at her in confusion for what seemed like hours before talking again.

"Why didn't you just talk to me then? It would have made things so much easier, but no, you had to go and be confusing and ugh." I groan then place my hand against my face, this girl is so confusing. I hear Carmilla sigh again when another sticky note is placed over the last one. I move my hand and look down at it.

'You're talking too fast.' Is written on it, I am pretty sure my eyebrows are permantly furrowed in confusion. Carmilla runs her hand through her hair and writes another note.

'I'm deaf.' I'm pretty sure my eyes widen to the size of the moon at this. How did I not know this?  Surely she's just joking. 

I must have been quiet for too long because Carmilla starts chewing on her lip nervously before writing again.

'I'm sorry for not telling you. I get it if you don't want to be my friend anymore.' she placed the sticky note on my book hastily and bolts off before I realized what happened, I swear quietly under my breath and follow her in the direction she took off it, but she's already disappeared. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woah! Thanks for all the feedback and kudos, I didn't think this would get that much attention, let alone so soon. I don't even think I'm that good of a writer, but thank you all who have reviewed and left kudos. :)


	6. Helpful Perry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so angry, I spent an hour typing this chapter from my notebook and making minor adjustments, then I went to eat with my parents and shut off my tablet... Forgetting completely to save what I typed up and now it's all gone. Uggghhhhh.

Carmilla hasn't returned to our bench for two weeks. On the third day of her avoiding me, I caught her signing to the Dean in the hallway on the way to Philosophy. I stop in my tracks at the corner of the hallway and watch them when I hear the Dean start talking loudly and slowly, and if a bit mockingly.

"Carmilla, use your words. I didn't pay for all those speech classes for nothing." Carmilla looks like she's about to cry and I think my feet are glued to the floor. Carmilla's teeth are clenched and the Dean touches her cheek, I watch as she flinches from the touch and the Dean tuts mockingly. "Oh darling, I know you can do it." 

I watch as Carmilla takes a deep breath and her voice, the one I heard when she was with the Dean before, wow am I an idiot.

"I'm sorry Maman." I'm stunned at hearing the careful words. The Dean grins and pats Carmilla's shoulder, she flinches from the touch again.

"There you go my darling." At that point I remembered how to work my feet and rush past the two women, ashamed at myself for eavesdropping. 

After that incident with the Dean, I never see Carmilla except for in class and she sits as far away from me as possible, and leaves before I can even pack up my books. She's insanely fast and it's not fair. 

So that brings us to today, the start of week three of The Great Avoidance, courtesy of Carmilla.

I made up my mind and approach the curly haired interpreter at the front of the class room right as she's leaving.

"Hey, hi, do you have a moment? I'm Laura Hollis." I shake her hand.

"Hello, I'm Lola Perry, but please call me Perry." The bubbly redhead smiles kindly at me.

"I have a question for you." She motions for me to follow her out of the class room.

"I hope it isn't about philosophy, because I'm completely clueless about that kind of stuff. - She laughs at this. - I'm only here to help certain students per the Dean's request." 

"Ah, no, I was actually wanting to ask about sign language..." We end up walking to the coffee shop where LaFontaine works, we wait in line as we talk.

"Well I definitely know about that! How can I help you?" We inch slowly towards a smiling LaFontaine.

"Do you teach classes? Or know where I can take classes? I can pay you if you teach classes, like that's not a big deal. I just, well I met this girl and I think we were kind of friends, but I didn't know she was deaf and then she told me and I kinda zoned out a bit and now she thinks I hate her because she's deaf and I thought maybe I could learn to talk to her and show her I like her and don't hate her. And then we wouldn't have to write notes to each other or anything, you know? And like... I'm rambling, aren't I? Oh jeez, I'm SO sorry!" I hear LaFontaine snickering and I realize we're at the counter, Perry looks stunned. 

"Rambling is an understatement L, what'll your order be?" They turn to Perry with a smile and Perry seems to jolt out of her stunned silence.

"Oh, uhm, a small caramel hot cocoa please. With extra whipped cream if you don't mind." She seems flustered and LaF smiles, turning to me. 

"Your regular, right?" I nod and they go to prepare our drinks, we step to the side and continue our conversation.

"How did you not know she was deaf if you're her friend?" Perry finally asks, and LaF speaks up from behind the counter.

"Because L is obvlious when it comes to her crushes." I glare at them and push my hair behind my ear, quickly explaining the stickynote situation, Perry nods occasionally at my story.

"So you talked to her through stickynotes for a few weeks?" She finally asks as LaF hands us our cocoas.

"On the house for you, not for Laura though, because she needs to girl the hell up and ask that chick out." They wink at Perry and I roll my eyes, handing them my money while Perry blushes and hands LaF the money anyway.

"Keep it as a tip, then." She nods, at LaF and I lead her to a table.

"So, will you help me?" I ask as we sit down. 

"Of course I will, you obviously care about this girl, and it's wonderful that you want to learn a new language for her." I perk up and grin at her. "But I do have a question for you, Laura." Perry takes a sip of her cocoa and I motion for her to continue. "Do you think you can introduce me to her?" She motions in LaFontaine's direction and I raise my eyebrow.

"Sure I can introduce you to them." She seemingly looks pleased at this and takes another sip of her cocoa.

"Wonderful, now when do you want to start?" 

"Would today be good? And we can talk about a schedual?" 

"Sure, that works well."

So, that's how we began meeting everyday at the coffee shop for my lessons with Perry, and LaFontaine joining us after their shift most of the time. Learning a new language wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, I learned how to hold a basic conversation with in three weeks of signing with Perry and by myself. 

Another month after that, I can hold a decent conversation and pay more attention to Perry when she signs in class. I begin to plan on how to catch Carmilla before she can run away from me. 

A few days into my planning, I rush into the coffee shop, stomping snow off of my boots and I see her writing her order to LaF at the counter. I approach her and tap her shoulder shyly. She flinches and spins around, when she sees who I am, she attempts to push past me and leave the coffee shop. I put up my hands in front of her to stop her.

"Wait! Please bear with me." I stutter out, then sign to her. 'I'm new to this.' Her eyes widen as she looks at me. LaF motions to Carmilla's drink and gives me a thumbs up. I grab her drink and pull Carmilla to my normal table.

We sit and she picks up her drink, still staring at me.

'I want to know you, I want to be friends with you.' I say the words under my breath as I sign. She takes a tentative sip of her drink, wincing when the hot liquid hits her tongue. She places the drink on the table in front of her.

'Friends?' I nod at her and she smiles slightly, but her perfect eyebrows are still raised as if she doesn't quite believe me. 'And you learned sign language?' She fidgets with her necklace before continuing. 'For me?' 

'Yeah, for you.' I smile at her and she bites her lip.

'From who?' 

'Perry.' She lets out a breathy laugh at this.

'Perry is very peppy, I like her.' I nod and laugh with her and she looks down slightly before  continuing. 'How long?' 

'A couple weeks after you started ignoring me.' She looks sad at this.

'I'm sorry.' Carmilla stares down at her coffee and plays with the rim of the mug. I slowly bring her face up to look at me, giving her time to stop me before I touch her.

'Don't be sorry, it was a misunderstanding.' She fiddles with her hands nervously and bites at her lip, I've never seen someone so nervous. 'What's wrong?'

'A lot to process.' She shakes her head and stills her nervous fidgeting. Perry chooses now to bounce up to the table.

"Ready for your lesson?" She chirps, then notices Carmilla and begins signing as she talks. "Oh, hi Carmilla, how are you?" 

'Fine.' Carmilla replies.

"Hey Perry, do you mind if we call off today's lesson, I kinda want to talk to Carmilla." I sign while I talk, a habit that I picked up from Perry. She smiles knowingly and nods before saying goodbye to both of us and makes her way to LaF. 

'What do you want to talk about?' She asks me and I motion for her to follow me.

 'Do you mind coming to my dorm? I don't want to be interrupted.' She nods and follows me. 'We have a lot to talk about.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLDR: The Dean is a dick. Laura is an awkward little cutie and Carmilla needs love. Also, LaFerry feels. This is obviously very AU, but I don't know if I want to make Carm and the Dean vampires. Thoughts? Also, I appreciate if anyone points out if I spell something wrong or something doesn't sound right because I don't have a beta. Thanks for reading!


	7. Danny

I open the door to my dorm room and let Carmilla in before me, she looks around and raises her eyebrows when she turns to me.

'No roommate?' She motions to the bare side of the room and I nod.

'Yeah, my old roommate, Betty, transferred a few weeks ago.' She raises her chin in understanding and plops onto my bed and looks at me. 

'Interesting. So what do you want to talk about?' I sit on the desk chair.

'I want to apologize for the misunderstanding, I just was so confused. But I don't hate you just because you're deaf.' I spin the chair slightly and she just stares at me. 'I also really want to get to know you.' 

'Why?' I blush and look at my hands. I hear her move around on my bed, and when I look up, she's sitting on the edge of my bed, really close to me. I think I blush more.

'I want...' I stop and start again multiple times. At this point I'm fairly sure nothing I sign is making sense and I'm just flailing now. She lets out that breathy laugh that I'm quickly falling in love with. 

Woah, What? Falling in love with? I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Carmilla places her hand on mine to stop me and reaches in her bag for a pen and something to write on... Which happens to be sticky notes. Of course.

_Calm down Laura._

I blush and pull my hands out from under her hand and gently take the pen from her hand and tears the sticky note off, placing it on my desk. 

_Sorry._

_Don't worry about it, it's cute._

My heart beats faster at this and I think my face is permantely red. Carmilla tilts her head at me and I shake my head, making my hair cover my hot face.

I feel Carmilla's cool fingers push my hair out of my face and I raise my head to look into her slightly confused eyes, I lean in closer to her.

"Hey, Laura!" The door slams open as someone enters my room, I jump back and fall off my chair in the process, Carmilla is staring at me in amusement, and looks where I'm looking. I look to Carmilla and she signs to me.

'Who's that?' I look back to the intruder. 

"Danny." I spell out her name and talk out loud at the same time, Carmilla nods and Danny just tilts her head.

"Who's that?" I laugh when Danny asks me this. She looks like a confused puppy and I can't stop laughing. The two women just stare at me as I try and catch my breath.

"You both asked me the same thing." I tell them both, when I calm down and stand up. Danny nods and Carmilla smirks. 

"So who is this?" Danny asks again. 

"Oh how rude of me! This is Carmilla." I spell her name out too and said girl smiles at me.

"Wait, Carmilla? As in Carmilla Karnstein?" Danny asks, I shrug then turn to Carmilla.

"Karnstein?" I ask out loud, because, wow, how do you spell that? She nods slightly confused and I look back to Danny.

I notice Danny is tense now and grits her teeth, pulling me closer, she hides her mouth as she talks to me.

"You shouldn't be hanging out with her, she's bad news Laura." I pull back and give her an incredulous look. I glance to Carmilla and she's staring at her phone... that isn't even unlocked.

"Woah, okay, it's rude to just talk like that, so anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of her or come find me when we weren't in the middle of a conversation that YOU interrupted." I sign what I'm saying, and I'm so angry that I'm sure I messed up a few things but at this point Carmilla isn't even looking at me, and she's writing on a sticky note. Danny is about to talk when Carmilla taps my shoulder and hands me the sticky note.

_It's okay, I'll leave._

She gives me a small wave and pushes past Danny. I stand staring at the words for a moment before Danny touches my arm and I whirl around on her.

"What has gotten into you, Danny? That was incredibly rude!" I notice Danny's eyes widen, and GOOD, she should be afraid of me because I am really angry. 

"You... You don't understand Laura! You don't know anything about this girl." I scoff and shake my head. Of course I know things about Carmilla, we didn't exactly talk about the wheather when we were passing notes back and forth. I don't tell Danny this.

"Neither do you!" I fire back. She shakes her head at me.

"Yeah, but the Society Sister's do, and I just don't want you to get hurt." I throw my hands up in the air and groan. 

"I can handle myself, Danny." I take a deep breath. "Anyway, what's so bad about Carm anyway?"

"You don't understand Laura!" She begins to raise her voice at me.

"What don't I understand?" I stare pointedly at her.

"I'm just trying to protect you!" My back stiffens and I glare at her.

"Because it's like, your job to keep me safe?!"

"Yes!"

"What...?" Danny lets out a small breath and softens her eyes. I look away.

"I care about you, of course it's my job to keep you safe." I begin to shake my head. 

"No Danny, it's not your job to keep me safe. I can take care of myself. I don't need to be protected by the big strong grownups. That's all anyone ever wants for me. My dad, the Zetas, you. Everyone."

"I didn't mean it like that!"

"Yes you did! Look Danny, I broke up with you because you were too protective, if you can't stop trying to control me, we can't be friends either." I sigh as Danny gives me a hurt puppy dog look.

"Is this because of her?" I shake my head quickly.

"No, it's just you and I need different things, you know?" Danny lowers her head and shifts on her feet.

"Okay, fine... I'll back off... just, please be careful, okay? I guess I'll see you in class?" I nod and she runs her hand through her hair and backs out my room, closing the door behind her.

I groan and flop onto my bed when my phone buzzes beside me, I grab it off my bed and bring it close to my face... And... This isn'lt my phone, it's Carmilla's. I sit up slowly and glance at the lit up screen with a preview of a text from "Rat" that says. "Mother is very angry w/ u. is it bc ur fuckin w..." The preview ends there and I slam the phone against my mattress with wide eyes when someone knocks on my door.

"Come in!" My voice is high pitched and I clear my throat, another knock. "You can come in!" It's quiet for a few more seconds before there's another knock. I sigh and get up, opening the door to see Carmilla turning around and I slap my forehead for being so stupid, of course she'll notice her phone is gone. I tap her arm and she whirls around.

'Sorry, I forgot...' I stop her and smile slightly.

'I know, I just found it like two seconds before you knocked.' I lead her into my room and grab her phone, ashamed that I was nosing around on her phone. She smiles at me when I give her her phone.

'??? Is gone now?' I tilt my head and repeat the first sign. She gives me the 'One moment' finger and grabs her sticky notes and writes down a word.

_Beanstalk._

I laugh and roll my eyes, repeating the sign a few times. She smiles at me and checks her phone, I hold my breath as she reads the text she got and her eyes widen. 

'What's wrong?' She shakes her head at me.

'I have to go.' She tells me before writing on the sticky notes. It has a phone number on it and "Text me" written under it, with... Is that a heart? I nod slowly, staring at the heart. She smiles slightly and leaves the room. 

I flop on my bed again, but this time I'm smiling and I kick my feet in the air as I squeal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dunnn. I did kinda steal a bit from episode 24, so that's not mine. Also, DANNY! Everybody loves Danny!

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone who reads my drabbles series knows my laptop died (or i broke it) but my parents got me a tablet for christmas and my sister gave me one of her old bluetooth keyboards for her tablet so i'm writing on that. any and all mistakes are due to that! Hope you enjoy. :)


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